Parenting during the pandemic- Feeling our emotions

 

I use images from Pixabay for my blog

Often times with parenting we have emotions that can be really strong, and it comes out in different way. I am writing this as a way to help parents recognize what Anger is.

Is Anger something that happens when something doesn’t go right? Or is there more emotions than as if a switch is being flipped? Phycologists classify anger as a normal emotion that we have, just like happiness, sadness, even anxiety. You might be wondering why does anger have such a strong emotional charge to it when we feel it or even mention it? Anger is a secondary emotion because we tend to cover up our vulnerable feelings like feeling fearful.

 

I use Pixabay images for my blog

Understanding that anger can have a strong emotional charge to it, anger can manifest itself in the most unlikely scenarios. Understand where anger comes from can help u to feel how we really feel. Even when you are Happy, you can still be angry from the night before because of a disagreement with a loved one, why? It is a secondary emotion. You feel hurt.  You are feeling the emotion of being angry but what is really happened is that you got your feelings hurt. We could have easily felt hurt, and dealt with the stress,

and not have felt angry.  Thomas S Monson in his talk in 2009 had said “No one can make us angry. It is our choice.” Sometimes anger can be a cover-up for our true emotions, and when we don’t know what the root emotion is, anger comes out to steal that emotion away.

Clearly, it’s easier to feel anger than to own our own emotions, I liken it to a toddler throwing themselves onto the ground because they don’t know why they are feeling the way they are feeling. Our test, is to find out why we are angry and do something with it, are you Angry like a toddler because they just needs a nap? Then your answer is easy, take that nap! Owning our emotions make it possible to deal with stress, and to live life in a more peaceful manner. Where your emotions don’t rule your actions, like a toddler throwing themselves on the floor.

              Many people feel that anger is something that happens instantly when we get upset. We have all felt angry when someone has cut us off when driving. There wasn’t any extra emotion to that, or was there? Often times anger comes in a form of fear. When getting cut off from another driver we instantly feared our safety, fear was the driving force behind the anger we felt. In the book Positive Discipline, A-Z the Author helps understand what anger is “anger is a feeling that follows the belief that you can’t get what you want or that you are powerless in a situation. It can also be a cover-up for hurt feelings. This quote helps us see Anger for what it is, and helps us understand that there is always another emotion behind that anger.

 

I use Pixabay images for my blog posts

In conclusion, I would like you to ask yourself, (when you are feeling angry,) why? Stop and just ask why am I feeling anger? When I stop and analyze my emotions, I am better prepared to feel what is really and truly bugging me. At times I have found myself surprised at the root emotion, and most often than not the root emotion then can be addressed for what it is, or aired out to dry so to speak. When we are able to live life knowing that anger is a secondary emotion, we are able to feel more joy and peace in our lives because we are pausing and letting our emotional wellbeing take over to help heal our disappointments and our fears.